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This transcription has not been verified by Special Collections Research Staff. Please also consult images of the document.


Letter from Ellen Lucas (Cold Spring, Va.) to Nina Powell (Winchester, Va.)


2 December 1861


Powell Papers - 65 P875, Box II, Folder 6


- - - - -


                                                            Cold Spring  Jefferson County  Virginia


                                                                        Monday December 2nd 1861


My Darling Nina


                                                Your sweet and welcome letter came like a ray of sunshine to my longing heart for I have been waiting and looking so long for a letter from my precious friend and had almost given up in despair when it came at last and you have no idea the pleasure it gave or you would repeat the favor often.  I have been intending to write to you for some time but have been putting it off and didn't get it done until now.  I feel so much like having a quiet chat with you once more that I must begin tonight and Tex says she is going into Town tomorrow and I will get her to take this to the Post Office.


You don't know how much I felt for you my dearest Nina when I heard that your beloved brother was among those that fell in that glorious battle of Manassas, oh my heart bled for you, for I well knew that you almost idolized him, he was so noble, so brave and generous it seemed so hard that he should be called away from you - but God knew best - & I know how hard it is to say blessed be his name when he afflicts us.  I was in agony until I heard from my dear brother he is our all in all and I thought can God take him too it seemed so very hard to me that He should take my brother and Father both from when so many around me have both and I could not bless his name for that but murmured at his dispensation, and you my darling sympathized so with me in my sorrow for altho at times I would appear calm and happy God & myself alone knew the terrible agony within that almost burst my heart strings asunder, and the miserable sleepless night I spent callin in vain upon my much loved Father to come to me - to see how utterly miserable I was - oh I almost prayed for death, for nature's such as mine can't be held in - you all little guessed when you sometimes looked at my smiling face and careless manner that my heart was well nigh broken yet so it was.  oh I worshipped my Father and most awful & dreary looked the future, when those loving eyes were forever closed never to look on me again, that noble soul gone to its maker - Life then seemed, a dreary


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blank, a burden too great to be borne - and I never will forget your dear Mother's kindness then, she sympathized and pitied me a lonely orphan, and treated me with a mother's care to my dying day will I remember her & although my proud, suspicious heart would not then yield to her gentle sway, she little knew that I loved her as I loved no other mortal I felt within me a yearning towards her that I felt to no one else, but Nina you know my strange disposition and when I looked and saw the happy family circle around her my evil spirit pride - whispered - no room - no room there for you:  rely on yourself - be a woman an independent one - never push yourself where you are not wanted - be an intruder - ha! Ellen Lucas an intruder - again I Pride say - rely on yourself what could I do then - wht envy you your mother, murmur at God for taking mine - & then o misery to take my Father, my idol - but Time the great restorer, cured my wound in a degree, but that wound left my heart far different from what it was - all the good qualities flowed out with the drops of agony - the evil ones were left there to become more evil and left me what you and the world in general now find me - a proud, suspicious & cold hearted woman - no one could now recognize in the woman of eighteen, the child of eight but enough - I weary you -


I was very sorry to hear that you had been sick I felt uneasy about you all when I heard there was so much sickness in Winchester, the poor soldiers must have suffered a great deal.  I got a long letter from Bob on Saturday night, he is well and in good spirits, said he was seated in his tent by a blazing fire, having made a fire place of some knind and said he & his tentmate were as comfortable and cheerful as could be expected.  He writes to me often & is a kind good brother and in a good many things looks up to me (his big Sis) and does what I wish him to do.  I am glad I have so much influence with him, he is a nobel hearted boy and generous to a fault, and grows each day more like Father, he is so obliging & kind hearted that he is easily led by men older than himself and the army is the place of all others to corrupt the morals.  I at times feel great uneasiness about him for he is thrown into such dissolute company - he is from all accounts a great favorite with his company, he couldn't fail to be with his good qualities & I sincerely hope may get through


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this war safely and return to us as he left us.  Poor little Buck seems lost without him and is dreadfully anxious to join the army says he will do it in the spring - I don't want him to do it, he is young and can't stand the hardships of a soldier's life - the only way I can control him is to tell him that we home folks need his protection, that we don't know what night the yankees might come over and take Uncle Robert, and who would be here to protect we woman kind - he straitens up and with a most important air says he is prepared for them and keeps his gun loaded at the head of his bed.  About two hundred yankees paid S.town a visit last Monday night - took 8 citizens prisoners & 4 on taking the oath were allowed to come back, the others refusing to take it are yet held.  I am sick and tired almost to death hearing about the war and dread awfully to hear about the approaching battle which people about here think will take place soon, I think if any one would kill old Lincoln and Seward he as a benefactor to mankind would possess a certain passport to Heaven. 


I  am so glad to hear that your Father has accepted a situation in Richmond although it wont be so pleasant to be away from his family yet he will like to be these troublous times where he can hear everything that is going on - and the mails being so regular from Richmond you can hear often from him - present my kindest regards to him when you write.  How do you like teaching? with pleasant obediant children I know you can get along finely with - How comes on your Sunday School Class?  When you see Miss Laura Lee rememer me kindly to her and tell her I often think of her.


I want to see you so dreadfully Nina, it would be so nice to have over some of our old chats - but I hope to get up some time this winter to stay a few days with you and be together once more.


I write and receive letter often from Flora Bowen, she is a great sufferer, her right foot is so painful and swollen that she cant take a step without the aid of a crutch, imagine great healthy looking Flora hobbling about on a crutch.  I hate to think of it.  she is so anxious to see me I want to go up before long to see her she says she thinks she would get better if I would go - I hate to see her suffer but must go and be with her some for I dearly love her


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and I know it is returned.  When you write to Kathie Gray give my best love to her - tell her not to forget old friends.  You know some people do now and then.  We dont though do we Nina?  When I love anybody I love truly & deeply tho sometimes I have a poor way of showing it.  What has become of Hortensia Lee.  I had a letter from her last Spring and haven't heard from her since.


Do you know Kate Wharton's direction?  if you do please send it to me, Cousin Dan is up now and intends starting for Richmond on Wednesday.  Cousin Willie then starts South to spend the winter, poor fellow I think his is a hopeless case, Consumption is such a flattering disease for some days he will seem well and in high spirits - then again, sick peevish and depressed - one day he thinks he will recover - the next day vice-versa.  I have been staying a good deal with Cousin Virgin - the dear little king and myself are conjenial spirits, rarely met with on the globe - We spent most of the summer at Col LaRue's in Clarke fled there for refuge from the yankees - I had a mighty pleasant time, Col LaRue was a great friend of Father's, I want to pay a visit up there again before long.  Old Jefferson is might dull at present sometimes things are so quiet we forget that war is abroad, not even the yankee drums which we hear every morning - nor the firing they keep up sometimes disturbs the dull monotony that reigns here.  the people seem hardened and appear to have fallen into a lethargy.  I never witnessed such queer times in my life.  Well dear Nina I know you are tired reading this prosey, uninteresting epistle but I wont weary you much longer - Give my best love and a kiss to your dear Mother and sisters and accept a heart full of love for yourself - Remember me to all inquiring friends.  I have to reluctantly bring this to a close, you must write soon and a real long letter and I assure you it shall be promptly answered.  This letter is just like my wayward self, harem-scarem, wild & reckless - excuse all deficiencies though for I know it isn't worth sending it is getting late and Im getting sleepy so I cant look it over and Tex says she wants to start early in the morning - So goodnight my darling Nina and happy dreams -


Think often of me and write when ever you feel like it for your letters will be gratefully received by your loving friend


                                                                                    Ellen Lucas


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Tex wants to know where your Grandma Lloyd is & how she is.  She talks a great deal about all of you & thinks nobody like you.  I am so sorry your hair is coming out - it was always my brag suit.  Nina please don't show this miserable scrawl I know it will try your patience to get through with it and it wont be much more trouble to slip it in the stove.  With much Love to all I am yours truly


                                                                        Ellen L